Monday, February 20, 2006

The years best headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says --No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers --Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? --Not if I wipe thoroughly!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over --What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death --No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant --See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace --I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile --You think?

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures --Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide --They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges --You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge --he probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group --Weren't they big enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft --That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks --Taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half --now that's magic!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors --Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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