Horse Sh*t

A door-to-door vacuum salesman knocks, and an old lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and empties a bucket of horse sh*t over her hall carpet.

He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't clean up every last speck of that, I'll eat it."

"Do you want a spoon?" she asks, "we've only moved in this morning and the electricity's not on yet".