It doesn't take a genius

A resident of West Virginia was shopping at the Wal-Mart in Blacksburg, VA. At the cash register, she wrote a check. The clerk asked for her driver's license. She presented her West Virginia drivers license and the clerk grabbed it away from her and scoffed at her, "If you're going to use a fake ID, you could at least use a real state!"

A manager was required to verify West Virginia's statehood.

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A report from a 9th grader:

Our school campus has twenty buildings spread over seventy acres. There were two soda machines. Recently they added a third. I overheard the workers arguing where to put the new machine. They decided to put it next to the other machine because that way people would notice it when buying drinks. There was one tiny flaw in that plan. The two machines sold the same drinks, and the new one cost an extra 75 cents.

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While shopping at the grocery store, a woman noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. She mentioned this fact to the cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"

The cashier replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."

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A long, long, time ago, when I was 19 or 20, I went to a bar with an older friend. The guy at the door asked for my ID. I gave him my driver's license, which of course had my date of birth printed on it.

He looked at it and said, "You have to be 21 to get in here."

I replied, "That ID is a few years old."

He looked at it again for a moment, then said "Oh, OK" and let me in.

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A medical student doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center got a call from a woman who was very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

The medical student told her that she better bring her daughter into the ER right away.

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The receptionist was instructed to call a vendor. Using the vendor's invoice as the source of the phone number she began calling. Each time she called, her phone would ring. When she answered, no one was there. This continued throughout the morning. When later asked if she reached the vendor she explained what was happening and demonstrated for her superior. He noticed that the phone number she was calling (which was on the vendor's invoice) WAS THEIR OWN PHONE NUMBER! She had spent an entire morning calling herself.

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If you see any stories like these, please send them to
me!