New Computer viruses

• The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
• The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
• The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent hard drive with NO memory.
• The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting.
• The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
• The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
• The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
• The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
• The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
• The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
• The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
• The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.
• The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.