Who is God?

Be careful how you explain "who God is" to your children...


(A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question.)

Boy: Dad, is God a man or a woman?

Father: Both, son, both.


(After a short while the boy comes back.)

Boy: Dad, is God black or white?

Father: (After thinking for a short while) Both, son, both.


(After another wait, the boy comes back again)

Boy: Dad, is Michael Jackson God?

Bumper stickers - part 6

"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"

Honk If Anything Falls Off.

He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.

You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My
Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Honk If You've Never Seen
An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
Admits He is Lost?

"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED,
AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and would probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember."

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning boss, Happy Birthday." So I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

"Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

All were singing "Happy Birthday" and there on the couch I sat... naked.

And that is why I fired my secretary!

Why buy...?

For all those men who say,
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"


Here's an update for you ...
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Bumper stickers - part 5

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

I Have The Body Of A God - ! Buddha.

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Illiterate? Write For Help.