"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."
"I is a college student."
"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."
"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"
"I can only please one person a day, today isn't your day and tomorrow is not looking good."
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film."
"Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!"
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark."
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
"I poured spot remover on my dog, now he's gone."
"Used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out."
"Couldn't repair the brakes, so I made the horn louder."
"Why do psychics have to ask for your name?"
"Wear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!"
"All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand."
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